Emily Thorne Is About That Life

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Last night's Revenge was steaming hot and juicy like a medium well steak fresh off the grill on a July evening. I mean!

Oh, did you just get arrested? My bad, IDGAF.

Conrad and Victoria are getting remarried, crazy ass Kara Clarke is strolling through their house waiting for word on her hardcore assassin lover, Emily is training Amanda to get Mason off their backs, and Aiden (who I'm beginning to feel I can do without) is all about being a voice in Daniel's ear.

Speaking of voices in ears, I'm not here for that light-eyed sketch-ass mobster guy, Kenny, who's got his hands in the Stowaway. He's all in Declan's ear talking about "you wanna make your mark, prove that you're somebody. I know that feeling." Bro, STFU. Declan is not about that life. At least I hope he's not stupid enough to be. I'm happy that he and Charlotte are cool again, but I hope he knows better than to trust old salt & pepper in the tight polos and white pants. I mean, I can't with that guy.

Nashville Premier

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Did y'all catch the premier of ABC's new nighttime soap, Nashville?

Believe the hype. This show is going to be goooood. All hail the alluring, enticing, and promising return of the night time soap!

Connie Britton plays Rayna Jaymes, a country music sweetheart of yester-year whose record and ticket sales aren't what they used to be. Faced with label pressure to "co-headline" with the new, young, cross-over success,  Juliette Barnes (Panettiere), Jaymes decides to walk away from the label she feels she helped build.

Beneath her pride, Rayna is a mother providing for her family.

The Return of Revenge

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This is how I feel every time ABC makes me wait for my show...

You know that saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder," I swear the execs and producers at ABC Studios live and breathe by that shit. And why shouldn't they? The fan bases for their break-out series (Lost, Grey's Anatomy, and now Revenge) are loyal and addicted enthusiasts. So what the hell if you take a six-week hiatus on the juiciest night time soap to emerge since Melrose Place, equipped with all the family drama of Dallas, spilling over with all the glamour and luxury of Dynasty? It's not like ratings are going to hurt for it; the hype's been built, the fan girls tell all their friends, and everybody knows when it's coming back. We're in there, bro.